Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
