if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
