Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
