It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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