UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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