everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
