I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
