i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Your dad touched me again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
