I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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