There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
