I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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