Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My vagina just clenched in fear
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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