Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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