she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
