Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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