Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so let's talk penis.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
