So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
