the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
