would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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