Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So many bounce houses so little time
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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