So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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