Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
