i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize