ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
