I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
