My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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