What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
