Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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