I skipped work to stalk him.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
