HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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