My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
worst night to have a conscience
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
