let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
