kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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