Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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