just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
