She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
