So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize