Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
