I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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