I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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