xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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