she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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