Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
