I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
