So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
