why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
