You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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