hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
