it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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