There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
