I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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