I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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