How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
