I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
