idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
