I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
