We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
