What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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