somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
