omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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