So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
