My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
