It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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